Inner Calm in Times of Outer Turmoil
This is written for those of us who are not in immediate survival mode—who are relatively safe, housed, and fed, and therefore have some capacity to engage with what’s happening beyond our own day-to-day survival.
When I talk about inner calm during times of turmoil, I’m not talking about being unshakable. I’m not talking about “good vibes only,” or spiritual bypassing, or pretending everything is fine because “it’s all unfolding as it should” or “God works in mysterious ways.”
I mean something more human and practical:
Finding moments of calm, comfort, support, and emotional regulation—so you can stay engaged without becoming consumed.
Because things are heavy right now. Not just heavy—horrific. Communities are being terrorized by ICE agents. People are being harmed, displaced, detained, and traumatized. Lives are being lost in multiple places across the globe (Palestine, Israel, Ukraine, Sudan).
At the same time, ongoing reporting in the Epstein case has resurfaced stories of sexual violence, abuse of power, and political protection. The lack of accountability or justice for survivors, the web of influence, and the reminder that people who caused profound harm often face little to no consequence can leave the nervous system feeling activated, unsafe, and enraged—especially for survivors of sexual assault and abuse.
For many survivors, it’s not just the violence itself that’s activating, it’s the repeated confirmation that harm can happen without consequence.
Being exposed, day after day, to disturbing headlines, images, and stories like these can flood you with anger, grief, fear, and hopelessness.
So what’s the answer?
Look away? Pretend it isn’t happening? Spend all day crying in bed?
No.
And I’ll be honest: I don’t know the right answer. But I’m pretty sure it isn’t complacency and intentional blindness. And I’m also sure it isn’t living in a constant state of outrage and despair.
What I do know is this:
Protect your system and your peace so you can show up for others in real, sustainable ways.
Why regulation matters
There are people experiencing violence and trauma every day, or living with the constant fear of it. People are afraid to leave their homes, afraid for their children, afraid for their loved ones. Responses like despair, dissociation, shutdown, rage, and panic are not “failures.” They’re normal human nervous system responses to abnormal conditions.
But if you’re not in immediate danger, your role is different.
Your job is not to be numb.
Your job is not to collapse.
Your job is to stay as regulated as possible—so you can contribute instead of combust.
Because an overwhelmed system that can’t hold its own pain usually can’t hold anyone else’s either. And when we’re maxed out, we tend to shut down, lash out, or look away—not because we don’t care, but because our bodies are in survival mode.
So how do we stay regulated?
1) Know yourself
Start with honesty about your capacity.
If the news sends you into dysregulation every day (heart racing, doom spiraling, rage scrolling, sleeplessness), reduce your intake. Not because you’re selfish, but because you’re trying to stay functional.
Ask yourself:
When can I take in information without becoming flooded?
Is it every other day?
Is it a short “headline check” once per day?
Is it reading instead of watching videos?
Is it one trusted source instead of ten feeds?
Also: be honest with others.
If someone wants to dive deep into the news and you can’t, you’re allowed to say:
“I know what’s happening is horrible, and I don’t have the emotional capacity to go deep right now.”
Full stop. No explanation required.
And at the same time, we can respect people who do have the capacity to engage deeply, and not demand everyone bend to our comfort level, especially in public or shared spaces. Boundaries are about what you can do, not what everyone else must do.
(And if you feel confused about events, that’s completely normal—more on that below.)
2) Let yourself feel it (without collapsing)
You might be feeling grief. Fear. Anger. Nausea. Helplessness.
Let yourself feel it.
If you’re feeling a lot, it may be because you’re not numbing out to what you’re witnessing. That’s not weakness—that’s a sign of empathy.
The key is feeling to release, not feeling to collapse.
What does that mean?
Releasing means the emotion moves through you. You feel it, name it, express it safely, and your system eventually finds a bit more space.
Collapsing is when the emotion becomes your entire identity or your only reality—when there’s no separation between what you feel and who you are. It can look like spiraling into hopelessness or getting stuck in a looping rage.
A note on rage: anger is a boundary emotion that can fuel protection and change. Rage, in this context, is when anger becomes so consuming that it overwhelms our ability to act with intention—when the urge to lash out or destroy takes over our capacity for directed action. If you feel yourself crossing into that territory, that’s a signal to pause and regulate before you act.
Safe ways to move big feelings
Rage dance to loud music
Scream into a pillow
Shake your arms and legs for 60–90 seconds
Go for a fast walk
Journal for 10 minutes, uncensored
Channel anger into action (more on that below)
And don’t do this alone if you don’t have to.
3) Reach for connection (with consent)
Tell someone.
Reach out to a friend, a loved one, or a trusted community space—and ask first:
“Do you have the emotional capacity to listen to something heavy right now?”
That question alone is a form of care.
There is power in being witnessed. In knowing you’re not the only one having the same reaction. Cry. Shake. Let your body do what it needs to do.
Then offer your system something regulating:
a hug from someone safe
a warm shower
cozy clothes
a nourishing meal
fresh air
a slow walk
You’re not “ignoring reality” by soothing yourself. You’re reminding your body: I am safe in this moment. And that matters, because a regulated body is more capable of sustained engagement.
4) Take action (without burning out)
Show up in whatever way you can.
Action can look like:
joining peaceful protests
calling or emailing representatives
donating to mutual aid and humanitarian orgs
amplifying voices from impacted communities (without speaking over them)
making purchasing choices aligned with your values (when possible)
supporting a friend or neighbor who is directly impacted
creating art that tells the truth or spreads joy
Action doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. It just has to be sustainable.
If you protest: a few reminders
Know your rights (they vary by state and city)
Commit to nonviolence
Bring water, write a legal hotline number on your arm, go with people you trust
If an organization is hosting, read their guidance and expectations
Know start/end times, routes, and who the designated support people are
Expect counter-protesters in some situations, and be aware some may try to provoke reactions. Resistance doesn’t mean reacting to every provocation. The goal is to protect yourself and everyone around you.
5) If you feel confused: orient to facts
Confusion is normal, especially when media coverage feels emotionally activated.
A few ways to orient yourself:
Choose factual sources (the less sensational, the better).
Pick one or two outlets known for reliable reporting. I like Reuters or the BBC, but they’re not the only options.
Separate news from opinion.
News is what happened. Commentary is what it means, who’s to blame, who’s “good,” who’s “evil,” what you should feel. Keep in mind that many mainstream outlets mix the two heavily.
Cross-check calmly.
Read 2–3 short takes on the same event. Where do they agree? Where do they differ? Differences aren’t always “lies”—sometimes they’re missing context, framing, or incomplete early information.
6) Limit exposure on purpose
Find the amount of information your nervous system can intake and when.
Maybe it’s 10 minutes a day. Maybe it’s no news after 6 p.m. Maybe it’s “no videos, only reading.”
If you notice you always spiral at night, change the pattern:
take a walk
read a book
stretch
text a kind note to a friend
watch something soothing
You’re not avoiding reality; you’re preventing nervous system overload.
7) It’s okay not to know
Even after reading more, it’s okay to not have a perfectly packaged stance on every complex situation.
If you feel the urge to force certainty, try swapping it for curiosity:
Who benefits if I believe this?
What evidence would change my mind?
Am I seeking truth—or emotional relief?
Sometimes, “I’m still learning” is the most ethical thing you can say.
Last note: breathe (seriously)
Breathing won’t solve everything.
But it can help you stay regulated enough to remain engaged—rather than overwhelmed.
Try one of these:
Box breathing: inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4 (repeat 3–5 rounds)
Long exhale + audible sigh: inhale normally, exhale longer, let your shoulders drop
Hand on heart: five slow breaths while feeling the warmth of your palm
